It's Been A While...

Hello All,

So stuff happened. I got 58 subscribers, my relationship has been going almost 5 months, and I've had a couple of emotional breakdowns along the way. I also came out as asexual, which was as messy and relieving and uttertly underwhelming as you might expect. But now I am back because I need to express myself again. I am ready and recharged.

I feel like I've grown into myself. I know what I love and what I want and how to get it, and I have my eyes fixed on a horizon. As Augustus Walters so eloquently put it, "I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up"

Stay Different,
Your Skye

You & I are Starbright

So today was the first day of spring. Even if it wasn't spring, it was.

You know what I mean. The light held warmth and you could feel the sun on your back and everything was tinged with gold. It was the kind of day that is remembered in sepia tone and thought of during long, balmy Thursday evenings. Today was one such day, the first of the year, and though I spent much of it in a much too bright dance studio fighting down an anxiety attack and intense desire to be elsewhere, I enjoyed it.

And in the dizzy splendor I realised something, something very important. Before, for reasons I cannot yet articulate, I doubted it, but now I am sure. So I can say to you, completely sound in my heart, this:

I love him. I love him utterly, and hopelessly, and I cannot picture a day when I won't. He is the living embodiment of the First Spring Day, a light that brightens all around him, a taste of some unknowable light, only much less pretentious and much more real.

It is in this mood that I link you to my newest video. It is an original song, named Starbright.

Here
And Egor, if you are reading this, I love you.

Stay Caring,
Your Skye

Stressed To The Point Of Oblivion.

Hello All,

I truly love learning. I would say it is my chief enjoyment, equalled only by my love of tea. The thing is, the things I detest more than any other are exams. I don't mean in oh-I-am-so-nervous, I-cant-be-bothered way. I mean in a hands balled into fists, trying not to have a breakdown, crushing fear kind of way. I hate them more than anything else.

It is for this exact reason that I am now blogging instead of revising. It feels as if the world will come crumbling down if I do this. How absurd am I? I am an almost straight a student, and I am terrified.

I hate this culture of standardised tests. Learning is a highly personal and individual affair. Human production lines were always doomed to marginalise some, and people will forever be falling through the cracks. I am not saying I am going to be one of those people, but this is a problem, and my racing heart and uncontrollable shivers when faced with the prospect of my exam reminded me of this.

Something needs to change. However, I cannot do anything now, I am too busy revising. ;)

Stay Conformist,
Your Skye

Ah, Winter

Dear all,

It is on days like this that winter utterly bewitches me. The snow has ceased falling, but where I am it is untouched. I feel like a princess in a tower, with the snow the thorns that keep others from disturbing me. Safe. It feels safe.

In Other News

I have to revise for a dratted science test, but I took a different approach from the norm. At least now the harshness of education is lessened somewhat.

 In addition, I re-made my inspiring shelf, and I am pleased with the result. I think when my room gets re-done, I shall be going down the Peter-Pan / Alice In Wonderland / Snow White route. A princess is a princess after-all.

Good day, dear invisible reader.

Stay Different,
Your Skye

Diary Entry #1 Fleeting Moments...

Dear Journal,

It was snowing, but it stopped, and that made me feel a parculiar kind of sad. Almost a tender kind of despair, as soft and as heartbreakingly fleeting as the snow itself. There is music playing, but everything is blurred and quiet. Like I'm alone in the house, in the country, in the world. It's odd, and never has the world melancholy seemed appropriate...

Skye x

Of The Mortal Instruments

It is a life ruining set of books, and their fandom ship incest more openly than any other... (Well, aside from the Potterheads, but since when have Potterheads paid attention to social convention? They ship a giant and a spider for gods sake)

Anyways, I vlogged about it. So go watch or whatever!!

CLICK!

Stay Different,
Your Skye

Woah...

Dear all,

I just don't really know how to explain my abscence, exept to say that it was almost all warranted. I mean, so much happened!! So, so many things that have changed my life for the bestter in little and big ways, and while I know it was bad of me to neglect my social media empire real-life demanded to be listened to for once!

To sum up, here is what happened:

-My mum and dad, after 17 years, got engaged. It wasn't a standard affair either, he was performing Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl on stage, and pulled out the ring to the line the song is named after. It was divine.

-I performed my full run of school shows! We Will Rock You was a truly inspirational thing, my first and last, and best school show. I will never again be so happy to be cast in Maddona, I don't think.

-And in other love related news, I can safely say I am no longer forever alone. All I am saying! :)

And there was a myriad of other things too, which I cannot really explain. They are the kinds of memories that are but sensory collections and blurry images to the soundtrack of a song you barely remember. Divine, but vaugue. Suffice to say, this has been my best Christmas in a long time, and I have that contented warm feeling that comes so rarely to me.

Sheduled Broadcasting back again soon :)

Stay happy,
Your Skye

Sparkle.

Hello,

So I went to go see Rocky Horror (again!) With a very, very good friend and I had a really awesome time. The atmosphere, as always, was pure electric, and remembering it got me thinking about my sparkle. Now I'm not sure how many of you will relate to this, because I've never met anyone ever who admits to having one, but all I know is the sparkle is a very beautiful, and very dangerous thing.

You see, it's a kind of nostalgia, but rawer, more brutal, more enticing. It will convince you that all the things you are going to do pale into insignificance when compared to stuff you have done before.  It makes all the past events, friendships and relationships seem edged with gold and tinted with rose-scented glory, a kind of beauty that you will never again attain, but did then, in the past.

And sometimes this sparkle gets out of hand. It is so beautiful that you can't help but believe it, and somewhere along the way you come to the conclusion that nothing will ever be as it once was and you have thrown away all the things that held the Sparkle.

It's in the friendships you let fade, the meet-ups with friends you declined. The relationships you ended or let end, the relationships you could of had but didn't go for, the relationships you could of had but were too scared. It's the friend of a friend you never got to know, the person across the room you never talked to.

The sparkle is in all the missed opportunities, and all the taken ones too, serving as a constant reminder that you never do enough, and that anything you do is worthless when compared to what came before. I know it well, and when I am down it is adictive to remember, the highest escapism. But I am trying not to let it affect me so, for the past is past.

Stay Present,
Your Skye

Ghosts, and vlogging and emails oh my!

Sierra is going to do Phantom Of The Opera in Broadway! I am not sure whether to scream with joy or cry....

I'm so happy she's back in the role, but if she's going to America to do it my hopes of seeing her as Christine are dashed for the forseeable future. Likewise, there is no news on Ramin going also, so my dream cast isn't happening and that makes me sad. Still, I'm in a squeeing mood and it's an opportunity to watch Phantom 25 again, so no regrets.

In Other News...

It is insanley difficult to contact people from the BBC! ARGH! Eventually, I found a clever way to contact people, and I felt amazing, only to recieve a reply saying the sir in question was away from the office until the 27th. Not cool man, not cool. I'm going to keep trying though...

In Other News...

The joys of vlogging consist of it being difficult. But I like it anyway. I shall continue to bother people until I get a decent view count. Now if you excuse me...

Stay Different,
Your Skye

Today was... Different

Today, I had an epiphany. It went something like this.

You're going to die. No matter what happens today, tomorrow or next year, you will die, and there is nothing you can do about it. So smile! If everyone's going to be a drama llama, don't let them bother you. Next year, what you're arguing about will not matter, so just enjoy life. Learn from everything. If nothing matters, then by extension everything matters, because it's so infinitley useless it would be sacrilage not to have fun.

Now I know that just sounds like a huge, thinly vieled #YOLO, but in fact it's the opposite. A few people I know have the philosiphy that nothing matters so if something upsets you say. Don't bother what people think of you. I have the opposite view.

If we're on our way to inevitable doom, we should be declining to be petty and superficial. If someone upsets you, let it go, it won't make any difference in the grand scheme of things.

This midset put me in an amazing mood, and I've been commited to help everyone all day. It's wonderful, if a little morbid.

Tell me Invisible reader, am I crazy?

Stay Elated,
Your Skye

Come and Channel chill with me??? I'll subscribe to you!!!

Now you know youtube is working again for me, and I have videos up, the time has come for you to come find me at the channel. Lets get to know eachother! We can share secrers, and everyone who comments saying they found me here on blogger, I will subscribe to them. For real, I will subscribe to you. Mainly because I really want to start networking more.

So we can chill, and I'll provide hot chocolate, old musicals and fluffy socks. Plus, I've just broken up with my long time boyfriend, so comment and I will smile! Here's a link to my first vlog:

Clicky

Invsible reader, what do YOU want me to post videos of?

Stay Connected,
Your Skye

Yesh!

The youtube channel is working! At long last, google accounts got over its hatred for me and decided to let me post videos. Obviously you, invisible reader, are delighted, even though at this moment in time it only contains me singing. Singing badly. Very, very badly.

None the less I am pleased with this development. It means I can ramble at you in two mediums! Heheheh....

So, it will soon be filled with whimsical rubbish, to fill your heads with fluff and musical theatre!!

Stay Different,
Your Skye

A New Beggining

I have made a resolution! I know I'm a little early but by whatever omnipotent being you might believe in I don't care, because at least now it will be easier to keep come the new year. The resolution (as witnessed by you, invisible reader) is to blog everyday.

To Blog
Everyday.

Wish me luck, for I am sure that I will need it, but this is essential if I am to finish my novel. A novel, I might add, that I am liable to share with you. I assure you it's thrilling, being that contains the old fashioned kind of dark romance instead of the Twilight kind, fantastical powers, tragic love stories, criminals of all levels and corruption of the highest degree. What it doesn't have though, is an ending or a title.

So keep your eyes wide and your ears pricked up, invisible reader, and I shall see you soon.

Stay Different
Your Skye

Wishing I Was Somehow There Again

The classic Brit awards were on, and I, being the theatre child I am, decided to watch it.

To find Sierra and Ramin, my favourite Christine and Phantom ever to exist (Sorry Sarah) singing Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. Cue me, on the floor, having a fullscale Phangirl breakdown, because it wasthe most equisite thing I have seen in a long, long time. The chemistry, oh their chemistry! It was beautiful and haunting and painful and heartbreaking. And their voices, oh their voices! Crystal and georgous and a perfect storm, with him as the thunder and she the lightning.

I cannot explain the depth of my love for this musical. Something in the story grabbed me and wouldn't let go. All I know is as I saw Sierra up there, equisite and ethreal, my passion to play Christine has never burned brighter. I want to play her, no matter how amutuer the production is. In a way, as my life echoes hers so closely, I am her.

And to all the musical theatre kids, and the thespians and the Phans; I know you will understand me when I say this...

One day, I will play her, and I will just want to drop dead right as the curtain falls, so I never have to live another second, and so I could live in a moment that perfect forever.

Do you have a dream-role like that, dear invisible reader?

Stay Different
Your Skye...

Halloweentown Weather

It feels like autumn. It really, truly feels like it. You can just tell, because the wind has changed. It's not lazy, as it was in summer, but awake and just a little bit foreboding. I love it, because autumn truly is my favourite season, and I often mourn the fact I am a summer child.

But no matter. It will soon be time to choose a halloween costume, and I have no idea what it is to be. Alice Madness, Christine (Phantom Of The Opera) Evil Snow White, or Columbia (The Rocky Horror Show)? I don't know, they're all so enticing, but chances are it won't be the 2nd one, as I doubt I'll be recognised. It's a tradgedy, the lack of Webber fans in my area...

What are you, dear non-existent reader, going as?

Stay Different
Your Skye...