Isn't Atumn Glorious?!

"I've always had a repulsive desire to be something something more than human"

Although this is a Bowie quote and as such has very little to do with The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, I hope it makes sense when I say that for me,  it is the one quote that can perfectly sum up the film for me.

Let me tell you, the film was glorious.

I had read the book a little earlier on the day I went to see it, and so when I sat down ((There were only 6 of us in the cinema you know)) I had the story and its emotions fresh in my mind. I took with me a very quiet friend who we shall call Alice, who is sweet and kind but prefers her mum to think she is on facebook rather than writing, who knew nothing of the film or its plot. She just agreed to come because that is how our friendship works, we go see films together. 

The film was beyond words. The Rocky Horror Show is and always has been an intrinsic part of my life, owing to a friend I rarely see and do not feel as if I understand anymore, so to see it referenced almost reduced me to tears. As with all teenagers, The Smiths have been a great help and comfort to me whenever I have felt in any way alone. To hear asleep played did reduce me to crying, and I am not ashamed of that.

After seeing it, I skyped a friend, and we stayed up for an age in the dark, talking about it. The really sad thing is, we decided, that we related to Charlie most at his two lowest points. I when he was talking about how he didn't know how to stop noticing people, and their pain, because daily I face the torrent of other humans with a sense of fearful exaustion, because when I see people my mind spirals out of control speculating, connecting everything and everyone until all is one blur of life with no end and beginning, and still I keep thinking new things until my mind threatens to explode. As for my friend, let us just say that to her pain is no stranger, and she saw in him the same desperate, self-destructing urge as lives within her.

I have concluded then, that it is this that makes us what we are. Wallflowers. A virtual generation that study to remember to forget in time to remember again, who a not as clever nor as stupid as those before us.

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